She's improving, that's all I can ask for right now.

Today has been a good day. About an hour after I woke up Lani and I took a nice long walk- we were gone for an hour and 20 minutes. At one point we stopped at the beach and just sat on the sand for a while. I've been dying to go down to the beach by our place so it was great to be able to do that today. There were 2 other dogs there and Lani was very well behaved; it's so much easier to walk her now that we've found the right collar and have her wearing a doggie backpack. I can tell she's getting something out of it too.

She kinda lost it a little bit when we got close to our apartment and she saw an older gentleman walking his little dog on the opposite side of us. Of course Lani and I were looked at with disgust and amazement when they heard the sounds that came out of my dog. I hate when she goes nuts like that and I don't know what triggers it. I tugged on her collar, told her "no" and to "leave it," but it's like I'm not even there when she gets into that mode of hers. What mode that is I have no idea because I am 99% sure that she would never intentionally injure another dog. She has an aggressive side toward some dogs off the leash but it seems like that aggressiveness comes out to all dogs when she's on the leash. Unless of course it's a puppy or a really old dog- she loves puppies and is gentle with them and the seniors (hehe).
I'm just waiting for Cesar Milan to start accepting applications from northern california citizens so we can send in a tape and hopefully have him come and train my husband and I. Because remember, he "rehabilitates dogs and trains owners."

This is the Lani people see when we're out walking. The intimidating, focused, pitbull (she's really only part pitbull):

And this is the sweet, cuddly, cute, gray muzzled Lani my husband and I see every day:

02/14/09

Ben surprised me by taking me out to a very upscale restaurant in a town not too far away. Apparently the chef had appeared on Top Chef at one point! I thought that was pretty cool. I had the best filet mignon I have ever had- way better than the Outback Steakhouse! I also tried a few new things that evening, being that it was a 4 course menu of food I wasn't familiar with.

Our table had a rose, hearts, rose petals, and a candle on it. The entire restaurant was set up with dim lighting, pink and red balloons, and just very cozy and romantic.

We started off with complimentary champagne and slices of bread with a garlic butter spread. The bread was so fresh!

We were given hors d'oeuvres that included raw fish- something I'd never tried (and I didn't like it either).

Then we had an appetizer of our choice. I had the lobster bisque and Ben had a salad of some sort. I can't remember what exactly but it must have been good because he ate all of it. haha

For our main course we both had the filet mignon with mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables. It was to die for. Definitely not something I could do at home. I had dinner with a glass of cabernet savignon from a vineyard in the Santa Cruz mountains. Absolutely delicious.

Desert was chocolate mousse with a raspberry sauce served in a chocolate tea cup! Again, it was amazing. I couldn't finish the chocolate tea cup though.

And because my oh-so-loving husband booked our reservations under the Valentines Day package I took home 2 long stem roses and a little gift bag with some goodies inside.

All in all it was a great evening. We've never spent so much on a meal but it was worth it, I think. My hubby really stepped it up this year and it made me very happy.

Early Valentines Day Flowers

My hubby is so sweet! Right after I got back from taking Lani on a walk this morning the UPS guy knocks on the door. I have a couple things coming to me through them so I figured it was one of those things. I open the door, sign for it, and see this long green and brown box leaning against the side of our doorway. I have no idea what it is because it's too big to be any of the things I was expecting. When I bring it inside and open it I realize that they're flowers! (Duh. If I would have looked at the side of the box it says, "Pro Flowers.") On the side of the box is a little note from Ben:

"I figured the only way to surprise you was to send them early. I'm looking forward to a great Valentine's Day with you." Love, Ben.

I always unintentionally find a way to ruin surprises he plans for me. =( It seems that he's learning to work around it though because this was a big surprise!

The name of the bouquet he sent is Hugs and Kisses (how cute is that?) and it's made up of tulips and blue irises. I can't post a picture of mine yet because they need to stay wrapped in their packaging for a little bit while they're in the water. But here's a picture of what they'll look like when they bloom a little bit:

Down the Road- Kenny Chesney and Mac McAnally

This is my latest favorite song. I really love it.

When I was a boy

Four houses down from me
Was a family with an only child
She was the only girl
In this whole world that could make me smile

Down the road
I made up reasons to go
Down the road

Somewhere inside of me
There was something she took a liking to
Well I asked her to marry me
She said she really wanted to

Down the road
To see what life’s gonna hold
Down the road

Her momma wants to know
Am I washed in the blood or just in the water
Her daddy wants to know
If I make enough to take his daughter

Down the road
Before he can let her go
Down the road

Now down the street from here
There’s an engineer with an only son
And our baby girl says
She believes that he is the only one

Down the Road

Her momma wants to know
Is he washed in the blood or just in the water
And I want to know
That he makes enough to take my daughter

Down the Road
When it comes time to go
Down the Road

Down the road
You know I want to help her go
down the road

Down, down, down that road

Down, down, down that road

A new kind of workout- The 30 Day Shred

Today was my first day of doing this workout. I swear I get more out of this 20 minute strength, cardio, and ab workout than I usually do in 45 minutes on the elliptical. It basically kicked my butt. I was able to do all of it but had to take 5 second rests a couple of times. I just hope I keep up with it like I should. On the DVD cover it says that by doing this 30 day workout you can lose up to 20 pounds! Which just so happens to be my goal. So far I've lost 5 of those 20!

27 Random things about Ashley Marie

I saw this going around on Facebook.

I can't wait to be a Mom. It's my major goal in life. I want at least 2 kiddos.

I am a Republican living in a very liberal town in a very liberal state.

I played the piano for 9 years before I quit. It was a stupid mistake. I can't wait to have room for a piano so I can play again.

I love traveling.

Disneyland is one of my favorite places to go. It holds a special place in my heart.

I'm a huge dog lover and I want at least 2 more; a rottweiler and a german shepherd.

My Dad is my hero.

I don't think that going to college necessarily makes you a smart person.

I'm a good speller.

I'd love to own a house someday.

I used to have my belly button pierced.

I was married at 21 and we're going on our 3rd anniversary.

I'm a very passionate person.

I would do anything for anyone in my family.

I'm a total and complete bookworm.

I have 2 wonderful young men as my brothers.

I've only lived in one other state: Missouri.

I was born in Long Beach, CA

I think that rudeness and disrespect are 2 of the worst traits in people.

I don't have to threaten my husband not to go to strip clubs or ask him not to.

My family and I are closer than most.

I have blue eyes.

It's hard for me to be relaxed in a room that isn't clean.

When I was little I wanted to be a vet.

The toothbrush has to be in it's holder and the toilet seat has to be down in the bathroom.

I enjoy listening to classical music.

I am absolutely horrible at math.

Memories and Emotions

Ben is a great husband in more ways than one. I'm not writing this to brag; I'm writing to remember an important moment that always makes me feel good. When we're truly in love with our spouse I think we all feel like this at one time or another.

Tonight Ben was playing around with his camera and flash. As usual, I was the subject. (I guess Lani gets a little boring after a while.)

I'm sitting down and he begins snapping photos. While I'm sitting there complaining about how pudgy my face looks, how I hate being the center of attention under a camera, and while I'm getting frustrated that he insists on using me as a subject when he knows how I feel, he clicks away. Sure enough I don't like any but one of them- the one where half of my face is showing. (And I'm supposed to be looking at the lighting differences.) He admits that some of them aren't very flattering (my emotions show very well on that darn thing) but he secretly keeps a couple because he thinks I'm beautiful. Wait, he thinks I'm beautiful? Riiight. But wait- he'll say that he's gained weight, doesn't look like he did when we met, and has his insecurities too. I'll say that he looks great and honestly mean it. So what if you don't exactly the way you did when we met almost 5 years ago? Big deal. You're handsome in my eyes. Odd, isn't it? That our feelings are mutual and yet I still have a hard time believing...no- accepting what he says when he tells me that he finds me attractive and beautiful. Or when he says that I think looks are more important to him than they really are.

He eventually puts his equipment away (probably because he's sick of listening to me say the same things over and over) and heads out into the living room to play on the xbox. As he leaves he stops short of the doorway, turns around, leans over and gives me a kiss. How could I not smile and feel a little better? I sit down at the computer to listen to music and roam around on the internet. I decide to go through some pictures in a folder on our desktop and one photographed event leads to another, which leads to another, and so on. Being reminded of so many memories and reminiscing brings a familiar warmth over me and I feel so lovey dovey. I realize how truly grateful I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. Ben is a true blessing to me in many ways. No matter how much he frustrates me, no matter how annoyed I might get with him, no matter how stupid some of the arguments we have are, no matter what, I love him more than anything in this world. He is my everything.

I always knew I would marry him. I could never picture my life without him and when we broke up I was miserable. I mean, miserable- heart broken. There was just no way we couldn't be together. I could sit here and say so many words to try and express how I feel. But no matter what, no word or phrase seems perfect. It could be due to my inability or it could be that there just aren't words strong enough.

This is one of the first pictures we have together. I don't think we'd even been together for a year yet. So that would mean it was taken in 2004.

Rainy Day

I woke up this morning to the sounds of pouring down rain. Ben got up before I did and I asked him to turn the fan off so I could listen to the rain- I just love the sound of it. Most people try to avoid going out when the weather is like this and I can get like that too (sometimes there's nothing you'd rather do that lounge and read all day when it's so dreary out). But for the majority of the time I want to get out of the house and go shopping, go out for lunch, something other than running errands.

I don't know what we're going to do today. I have a sit-along with a dispatcher in a nearby city tonight at 8 but until then I don't think we have anything planned. I started cleaning out our "office" a couple days ago but put that on hold because it got overwhelming. I have things in piles, papers everywhere, ugh. It's kind of a mess but it needs to be done.

Today's Friday! Which makes it our free day when it comes to our diet. I've decided not to make it a total free day, but I don't have to watch so closely what I eat. I might still get on the elliptical or the stationary bike but who knows.

I couldn't resist...

...posting a picture of my Baby Girl. Last night we were cuddled up on the couch while I read my new book (The Tenth Circle by Jodi Picoult). Ben had been in bed for a while and at one point I got up to check my e-mail and various other websites. When I came back I had to take a picture!

Update

Wow. I haven't been on here in a really long time! Or so it seems. ;-)

A lot has been going on since the last time I wrote. Ben was finally diagnosed properly and is now on medication for the pain he has in his back and leg. After finally having an MRI scan done and having a good doctor read the results, he's been put on Prednisone for a week. After that week is up he has an appointment with his doctor. If the pain is gone he'll be back on the streets in no time and if it's not, she'll give him a cortisone shot. I have loved having him home at night and on the weekends like a "normal" husband but I know how much he loves his job so I'm excited for him to get back to doing what he loves and does oh so well.

We also went out and bought me a new car a couple weeks ago! I absolutely love it- it's my second baby next to Lani. I've never owned a car that I truly loved so I'm very happy with it. It's a 2009 Toyota Camry SE in magnetic gray color. It has all of the extra features I wanted and everything. We traded in my 2006 Corolla and in the end walked out with a pretty good deal. Our salesman was very nice and honest- definitely one of a kind when it comes to that career.

Lets see. I've lost a total of 4.6 pounds in the last two weeks! =) Exercising every day, drinking enough water, and watching my calories is doing the trick. Last night I ordered the 30 Day Shred DVD off of Amazon so I can start doing that too. I am very determined to be confident and look good in a bikini for our vacations this year. I'm sick of feeling bad about myself. Today I hit 45 minutes on the elliptical (which is a pretty big accomplishment for me- I started out at 20 minutes) and have been taking Lani on 1 hour walks when the weather permits. Today is wet and rainy so I think she's bummed that she's stuck in the house all day. Maybe this weekend Ben can take her out to play somewhere.

Other than that we took a trip down south to visit my family- that's always fun. We actually watched most of the Superbowl this year (we were hoping the Cardinals would win) and listened to the rest of it on our way home. Oh, something interesting about that drive: Ben and I were about 2 hours or so into our trip when we saw a man driving like a drunk. He showed all of the signs of a drunk driver from the tapping of the breaks to concentrating very hard on the front end of his car. We called 9-1-1 about 4 times within 30 minutes (it was that bad) and eventually a CHP Officer called us back and was waiting for us to drive by. We got out of the way to let her do her job and after seeing how he was driving, we saw her turn on her lights and pull him over. It was AWESOME! I have no tolerance whatsoever for drunk drivers so it was nice to see one of the few we've seen on the road, at least get pulled over.

That's about all I have for now. My stomach is telling me that it's time to eat some lunch so I should probably go scrounge something up...