Ben is a great husband in more ways than one. I'm not writing this to brag; I'm writing to remember an important moment that always makes me feel good. When we're truly in love with our spouse I think we all feel like this at one time or another.
Tonight Ben was playing around with his camera and flash. As usual, I was the subject. (I guess Lani gets a little boring after a while.)
I'm sitting down and he begins snapping photos. While I'm sitting there complaining about how pudgy my face looks, how I hate being the center of attention under a camera, and while I'm getting frustrated that he insists on using me as a subject when he knows how I feel, he clicks away. Sure enough I don't like any but one of them- the one where half of my face is showing. (And I'm supposed to be looking at the lighting differences.) He admits that some of them aren't very flattering (my emotions show very well on that darn thing) but he secretly keeps a couple because he thinks I'm beautiful. Wait, he thinks I'm beautiful? Riiight. But wait- he'll say that he's gained weight, doesn't look like he did when we met, and has his insecurities too. I'll say that he looks great and honestly mean it. So what if you don't exactly the way you did when we met almost 5 years ago? Big deal. You're handsome in my eyes. Odd, isn't it? That our feelings are mutual and yet I still have a hard time believing...no- accepting what he says when he tells me that he finds me attractive and beautiful. Or when he says that I think looks are more important to him than they really are.
He eventually puts his equipment away (probably because he's sick of listening to me say the same things over and over) and heads out into the living room to play on the xbox. As he leaves he stops short of the doorway, turns around, leans over and gives me a kiss. How could I not smile and feel a little better? I sit down at the computer to listen to music and roam around on the internet. I decide to go through some pictures in a folder on our desktop and one photographed event leads to another, which leads to another, and so on. Being reminded of so many memories and reminiscing brings a familiar warmth over me and I feel so lovey dovey. I realize how truly grateful I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. Ben is a true blessing to me in many ways. No matter how much he frustrates me, no matter how annoyed I might get with him, no matter how stupid some of the arguments we have are, no matter what, I love him more than anything in this world. He is my everything.
I always knew I would marry him. I could never picture my life without him and when we broke up I was miserable. I mean, miserable- heart broken. There was just no way we couldn't be together. I could sit here and say so many words to try and express how I feel. But no matter what, no word or phrase seems perfect. It could be due to my inability or it could be that there just aren't words strong enough.
Tonight Ben was playing around with his camera and flash. As usual, I was the subject. (I guess Lani gets a little boring after a while.)
I'm sitting down and he begins snapping photos. While I'm sitting there complaining about how pudgy my face looks, how I hate being the center of attention under a camera, and while I'm getting frustrated that he insists on using me as a subject when he knows how I feel, he clicks away. Sure enough I don't like any but one of them- the one where half of my face is showing. (And I'm supposed to be looking at the lighting differences.) He admits that some of them aren't very flattering (my emotions show very well on that darn thing) but he secretly keeps a couple because he thinks I'm beautiful. Wait, he thinks I'm beautiful? Riiight. But wait- he'll say that he's gained weight, doesn't look like he did when we met, and has his insecurities too. I'll say that he looks great and honestly mean it. So what if you don't exactly the way you did when we met almost 5 years ago? Big deal. You're handsome in my eyes. Odd, isn't it? That our feelings are mutual and yet I still have a hard time believing...no- accepting what he says when he tells me that he finds me attractive and beautiful. Or when he says that I think looks are more important to him than they really are.
He eventually puts his equipment away (probably because he's sick of listening to me say the same things over and over) and heads out into the living room to play on the xbox. As he leaves he stops short of the doorway, turns around, leans over and gives me a kiss. How could I not smile and feel a little better? I sit down at the computer to listen to music and roam around on the internet. I decide to go through some pictures in a folder on our desktop and one photographed event leads to another, which leads to another, and so on. Being reminded of so many memories and reminiscing brings a familiar warmth over me and I feel so lovey dovey. I realize how truly grateful I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. Ben is a true blessing to me in many ways. No matter how much he frustrates me, no matter how annoyed I might get with him, no matter how stupid some of the arguments we have are, no matter what, I love him more than anything in this world. He is my everything.
I always knew I would marry him. I could never picture my life without him and when we broke up I was miserable. I mean, miserable- heart broken. There was just no way we couldn't be together. I could sit here and say so many words to try and express how I feel. But no matter what, no word or phrase seems perfect. It could be due to my inability or it could be that there just aren't words strong enough.
This is one of the first pictures we have together. I don't think we'd even been together for a year yet. So that would mean it was taken in 2004.
What a lovely post! I'm so glad you found what so many spend years trying to find. :) I feel all warm and fuzzy now.
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